FREQUENTLY UN-ASKED QUESTIONS

 

Q: Who is BAT TALES for?

A: Fans of the Batman movies;  general Batman fans who don't have a problem with the idea of multiple valid interpretations of characters.


Q: Who is BAT TALES not for?

A: People who don't like Batman (duh!);  obsessives who think "if it isn't like the comics, it's craaaap!"


Q: What gives you the right to call your stories a "valid interpretation"?

A: $5/month for this website.


Q: I totally disagree with the way you depict (name of character).  It's wrong.

A:  There's no law that says you have to like my stories.  (I'm working on getting one passed, though.)


Q: Your stories may have Batman characters in them, but they sure aren't Batman stories.

A: People said that about Tim Burton and BATMAN RETURNS.  Which puts me in pretty cool company, eh?  Not to mention, the movie made about $163 million.  When you do something that earns that much, come back and we'll talk.


Q: Your (name of character) is nothing like the one in the comics.

A: Does this look like a freakin' comic book?

 

Q: Didn't (name of character) die in the movie?

A: I've retconned all villain deaths.  "I've got the power...."
 


Q: Dude, you're mixing movies, pre-Crisis, post-Crisis, and stuff that isn't even in Batman.

A: I just love a good bowl of gumbo, don't you?  Lots of different flavors and spices.


Q: You are so snotty and condescending, I don't even want to read your stupid stories.

A: I'm actually a really nice guy.  (Just ask my parole officer.) 


Q: Grade the Batman movies.

A: BATMAN  A,  BATMAN RETURNS  A,  BATMAN FOREVER  B-,  BATMAN BEGINS A-, THE DARK KNIGHT A


Q: What about BATMAN AND ROBIN?

A: We deny that any such movie exists, or has ever existed.  Now, if you'll look directly at the end of this device....





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